Thursday, August 10, 2006

Guttenberg Returns To My Heart

I received a comment this morning, from longtime project supporter Abby.

Hello? Helloooooo? Anybody there? Could you hurry up and finish this list please, I would like to be able to go into a charity shop and not head straight for the video section on the hunt for a Gutt film. It's exhausting.

That is all.

And people, she's so right. I have let you all down, when you've been nothing but supportive (if slightly confused) of the project.

As I haven't posted since May (MAY! What is UP with that??) I will now present to you a treat I know you've all been holding your collective breath in gleeful anticipation of:

It's 1988's Cocoon: The Return!

I was lucky enough to be joined by project instigator Heather and flatmate Buffy as we watched Steve reprise the role of the charming Captain Jack Bonner. (That's right. He was Captain Jack long before any of this pirate nonsense.)

Apparently, I was wrong in my belief that all human beings who ever lived are familiar with the plot of these movies. For those of you who have not been delighted by the madcap Cocoon antics, it's pretty straighforward.

The oldies miss Earth and their families and friends, so they come back for a visit. Grandchildren have grown! Things have changed! Daughters are still ignored! Hussies try to corrupt good men! Friendship is important!

They all learn Important Lessons about being human, and most of them decide to stay on Earth, except the ones that got themselves knocked up.

The most amusing part of the film is the appearance of Courteney Cox as dedicated scientist Sara, who finds one of the cocoons, cracks it open and bonds with the alien inside until the mean old government comes along and ruins the fun for everyone. This was during her stint on Family Ties as Alex's girlfriend Lauren, which was certainly when I first became aware of her. Who'd have thought that it wasn't a co-starring role with the estimable Mr. Guttenberg that would propel her to stardom, but some sitcom?

Although Steve reconnects with his alien girlfriend from the first film, an upsetting dinner where she glows and levitates and is generally inappropriate shows him that there's no real long term future. Will he find love with scientist Sara? Oh, I think we all know the answer to that question.

Sadly, the VHS copy of this fine film purchased on eBay was slightly less than perfect. And by "slightly less", I mean that for the last hour of the film, the picture was all wavy and not nice and made a sound that Heather can imitate very well, but which I sadly cannot duplicate in writing.

But people, I am nothing if not dedicated to the project, so I will have you know that I watched it anyway. And I forced Buffy and Heather to watch it with me. I am that devoted to Steve, and to you.

So, although I didn't technically see the end of this movie, I've seen it before so we can cross yet another branch off the Guttenberg tree. (I really don't know where that analogy came from.)

Title: Cocoon: The Return

Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: 13

Purchased: on eBay

Price: £5.45

Realizing that I will watch essentially unviewable copies of tapes just because of the project?: Priceless.

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