Citizens on Patrol ... on the streets of my heart

I was recently back in Toronto, and met my good friend Aaron for lunch. Aaron has been very supportive of the mission. But there's supportive, and there's supportive.

He presented me with this little beauty, and I was ever so touched.

Now, I was of course thrilled to receive Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, but after the painful viewing of the third installment in the series, I was concerned.

Could I make it through this movie without wanting to gouge my eyes out with a fork? I was a little concerned, but decided to risk it.

I couldn't bring myself to sum up the movie for you, so I present my thoughts during the viewing of this film:

• An opening rap. An interesting choice.
• Huh. Hightower is “acting”.
• It’s that young Tackleberry kid from Police Academy 3. Continuity!
• David Spade! In hot pink!!! And he’s a skater!!! This could NOT get better. Is this supposed to appeal to the “kids”?
• Touching reunion between Harris & Mahoney. Ooh, conflict!
• SHARON STONE?!?
• Oh the elderly. Always good for a laugh.
• Why is Sharon Stone shouting her lines?
• Harris in charge? Oh, I suspect there will be hi-jinks!
• Wet t-shirt on Callahan. Classy.
• If there is a Bobcat Goldwaith romance movie, I will VOMIT.
• There’s nothing funnier than a fat guy dancing.
• Toilet jokes. Always funny.
• Hey, aren’t there supposed to be “citizens” in this movie?
• Only 50 minutes in. Huh. Seems longer.
• Oh, thanks god. The Bobcat Goldwaith kiss was thwarted. I was going to have to vomit.
• I have a fondness for the actor who plays Proctor. I’m not proud, but there it is.
• Hey! Continuity! What a wacky idea!
• Wait – are those ninjas?
• A hot air balloon chase. Well, I guess I haven’t seen that before.
• And a closing rap. Sure, why not?

I have to say, I was somewhat pleasantly surprised. It's not a good movie, but it's not terrible. Steve is once again likable as Sgt. Carey Mahoney. Sharon Stone's presence is mystifying, until you realize that she was a good three years away from anything close to stardom.

There are extras on the DVD, but I can't bring myself to watch them yet. But I'm sure that "Remembering A Lofty Investigation" will provide much insight into the making of this classic.

All in all, not the worst movie I've seen this week. And that's not such a bad thing.

Title: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: 26

Purchased: by the delightful and ever so dashing Aaron

Seriously, A Hot-Air Balloon Chase?: Priceless.