Monday, March 19, 2007

The Guttenberg Chronicles

About time I actually added to the mission, isn't it?

I've actually had this video since November, but didn't get around to actually watching it until last night. You know how it is - you get busy and before you know it five months are gone.

Anyway, this is a VERY exciting entry, because, while it is not the feature film debut of our good buddy Steve, it is his very first starring role.

I give you the 1977 film The Chicken Chronicles!

Chicken Chronicles

I'm not going to lie to you. If you're a fan of dramatic Guttenberg, or slightly irresponsible dad Guttenberg, this is not the movie for you. Prepare yourselves, people. This is a high school sex comedy.

Set in 1969, Steve plays high school senior David Kessler, who has one mission for his senior year - to lose his virginity to girlfriend Margaret. Naturally, madcap antics occur as he tries to find a safe place for them to do some shoppin' at the do-it centre, because Margaret is a prude and won't have sex anywhere they could possibly be caught.

When he's not trying to have the sex, he's working at a chicken place, which I want to say is called Chicken On The Go. Phil Silvers plays his boss, an upsettingly pervy old man. Did I need to hear Phil Silvers talk graphically about hot young chicks? No. No, I did not.

Anyway, when he's not trying to have sex or sell chicken, he's pulling pranks on the school's vice principal, talking to his emotionally distant parents over his house's intercom system, bribing his little brother for sex advice, calling out racism and old fashioned rules on the track team and smoking a lot of pot.

It's a bit of a jumbled movie. It's not what you might call funny, but I've seen much much worse movies from the teen genre.

Oh, and don't worry. He does lose his virginity, to (spoiler!) poor Tracy Vogel, who wasn't really a slut, despite the rumours about her. And thankfully, we are spared the actual sex scene and just cut to cuddling after.

Title: The Guttenberg Chronicles

Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: 11

Purchased: On eBay

Cost: $5.95

Beginning spared a Guttenberg sex scene: Priceless


Anonymous said...

The Chicken Chronicles is one of my favorite movies. I first saw it many years ago on "Z Channel", which gives long time Angelenos some idea of long this film has been lost.
While it is hard to find on video, it is playing this week on The Movie Channel, so set your TIVO's. The Chicken Chronicles and the Hollywood Knights would be the perfect double feature.

Terry said...

He plays David Kessler? Wasn't that the name of the main character in An American Werewolf in London?