Tuesday, August 23, 2005

A Secret Affair. A Violent Crime. A Brutal Killer.

I think we've made our first misstep on the magical road to Guttenberg happiness.

And by "we", I of course mean me. Through the wonder that is eBay, I managed to track down a little VHS I like to call "The Bedroom Window".

You can see the drama right there on the case. A Secret Affair. A Violent Crime. A Brutal Killer.

What the box fails to mention is the crucial last bit. A Boring Film.

Now, it's exciting that once again Mr. Guttenberg takes centre stage with his top billing. Oh, he's certainly the star here.

His intense, booding stare tells us that this is going to be one incredible rollercoaster of a film.

The premise is a pretty good one: a woman is having an affair with her husband's employee. While at her boyfriend's house, she sees an attempted murder outside his bedroom window. To avoid giving away the affair, he reports the crime as if he'd seen it himself. Because his story isn't quite right, the police begin to suspect him as the murderer. How will he prove his innocence?

See? It sounds good, doesn't it?

Oh, but it all goes wrong. There are a lot of odd, intense, scary music cues that don't fit with the action on the screen. And all the actors speak with this tone of voice as if they're hiding something, making all the characters seem like they're lying, even if they're not. It's all very bizarre.

Now, I'll confess that I didn't exactly watch the whole thing. I got a bit bored, and besides, I had laundry to do. So I missed how the Elizabeth McGovern character (who was the victim of the crime seen through the famed Bedroom Window) got involved with Steve-o. But they, of course, become romantically involved after the boss's wife gets sadly killed.

Okay, it's not about the plot. It's about the miscasting of Steve Guttenberg in a dramatic role.

The Gütt has a delightful, low key on screen presence. Do I want to see him taking care of an unexpected baby? You bet I do. Do I want to see him interacting with a robot who has come to life? I wouldn't miss it. Do I want to see him transforming himself from an overweight cartoonist into a leather clad Kiwi named Lobo? Just try and keep me away.

Do I want to see him being intense and broody and running for his life? Um, no.

So, nice try Mr. Guttenberg. But it's just not working for me. Better luck next time.

Title: The Bedroom Window

Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: 30

Purchased: On eBay

Cost: £2.99, including delivery

A Bad Overly Dramatic Movie: Eh, not so priceless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree with you -- this movie is a hot guilty pleasure/acquired taste. That awful 80s score, the "chic" furnishings of Steve's apartment, the utter Frenchiness of Isabelle Huppert, Elizabeth McGovern's body double's silhouette in the shower, a redhead killer who preys on sexed-up party girls, Elizabeth McGovern (the real thing, not body double) doing a "sexy" dance in a bar, a random fight over a pay phone between Steve and a sorta homeless dude, a murder AT the ballet (!), and last but certainly not least lots of shirtless Steve Guttenberg in his prime. (I did my homework and found he was approx. 28 when they made this.) The screenwriter/director is Curtis Hanson too, so if you're a fan of his movies it's fun to see his humble beginnings. And did I mention Steve Guttenberg's chest? And his naked butt? I like it! OK bye.