Sunday, February 26, 2006

Guttenberg For The Holidays

This is actually a Guttenberg film that I'd seen before without realizing that Steve Guttenberg played a key role. Can you believe it? Oh, the sad days before I started being hyper-aware of his presence. I'm much happier that I'm in a constant state of Guttenberg awareness now.

Anyway. It's the Jodie Foster Thanksgiving film, 1995's Home For The Holidays!

Now, Steve Guttenberg's not really the star here. In fact, he doesn't make his first appearance until 40 minutes into the film. He plays the super-tense husband of the always funny Cynthia Stevenson, who plays the sister of star Holly Hunter.

Guttenberg's Walter (standard name of every super-tense husband in every film ever) doesn't have much to do, other than be annoyed by his brother-in-law Robert Downey Jr.

I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't much like this movie, mainly because I found the characters of Claudia (Holly Hunter's character) and Tommy (Robert Downey Jr.) so freaking annoying that I couldn't stand to watch them.

You're not supposed to sympathise with the hyper sister and her tense husband, but I did, because if I had to be realated to two such selfish and mean idiots, I'd probably act just the same way. I mean, they throw a turkey on her! Wouldn't you be upset if that happened?

Guttenberg's good, as always, but I probably wouldn't watch this again.

I do have to raise a complaint on behalf of the Gütt. In the family photo on the cover of the DVD, every single cast member present at the family Thanksgiving is there, except Steve Guttenberg. Outrageous I say! Even his kids are there, and they barely have speaking lines! If I were his agent, I would be writing a strongly worded letter of complaint. Strongly worded, I say!

Title: Home For The Holidays

Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: 17

Purchased: on

Price: £5.25

Hearing Guttenberg say "Beep beep, brother-in-law" to Robert Downey Jr: Priceless.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Can't Stop The Guttenberg!

Seriously, how can you really describe this movie?

It's 1980's Can't Stop The Music! Doesn't it look fab? But what can we expect from watching it? Well, let's see what the box promises. Can it deliver?

Oh, it can deliver indeed. And "camp-tacular" - that's the best I can come up with.

The plot isn't important, really. It's about Steve Guttenberg, as a songwriter and DJ. Who forms the freaking Village People with the help of his platonic roommate, former model Sam.

He forms the Village People, people. He creates them. He writes their songs. He is the mastermind behind the campest disco ever, and that's saying a lot.

The opening scene is the Gutt's character, Jack Morell (not the similarity to the real Village People creator Jacques Morali) quitting his job in a record shop and rollerskating through New York City.

He rollerskates through New York City! On rollerskates!! This may top the "Miss Piggy borrows skates from Gregory Hines and chases down her mugger in Central Park" scene from the Muppets Take Manhattan as the best rollerskating scene set in New York.

I can't think that there was ever a time when this was conceived as a straight movie in any way. It is the campest thing I have ever seen. And I've seen some camp movies in my time, I'll tell you that.

Of course, it's not a good movie. The plot is sketchy at best. They get their big break in a milk ad? What? There's a whole subplot involving Steve Guttenberg's mom? What? All these people are flying to San Francisco to help them out? What? The construction worker has a solo dance number with lots of hot chicks, implying that he is straight? What??

But the plot's not important here. It's campy and fun and chock full o' Village People songs.
It's quite telling that of all the actors that appeared in the film (and I'm including Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner in that category, although it does imply he can act, which he cannot), our man Steve Guttenberg is pretty much the only one who managed to salvage his career. Nice one, Steve. Shake it off, and move on to better things.

I'd recommend this for the roller skating scene alone. Trust me, it's worth it.

Title: Can't Stop The Music

Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: 18

Purchased: on eBay

Price: £10.00, and worth every penny.

Steve as the star of the campest movie ever, of all time, ever: Priceless.