tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142450342024-03-07T08:55:40.920+00:00The Steve Guttenberg ProjectA tribute to the man, the myth, the legend.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-70906282386029918602011-01-23T23:14:00.000+00:002011-01-23T23:14:14.923+00:00A Rollercoaster of Guttenberg FunWe are making our way through the Guttenberg backlog, people. It's very exciting. And what better way to spend a Sunday night than with our good friend Steve? <br />
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It's another of the early dramatic films in Steve's career - the 1977 film <i>Rollercoaster!</i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHlGF-DVIij7H0n4x3UjKQynSp28f3FfP0KlqoMooYRC9yYQ-ZTvhCYaCoZbDe0XrmnAJp_SydN1Bf6L33sc7APqdchpe4mZ9Zm8odLnYrFLvVFW7Rw8HFRtc0Pe3-uR2vFlms/s1600/P1010837.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHlGF-DVIij7H0n4x3UjKQynSp28f3FfP0KlqoMooYRC9yYQ-ZTvhCYaCoZbDe0XrmnAJp_SydN1Bf6L33sc7APqdchpe4mZ9Zm8odLnYrFLvVFW7Rw8HFRtc0Pe3-uR2vFlms/s320/P1010837.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
This film was released in the same year as <i><a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/10/question-of-guttenberg.html">Something for Joey</a></i> and <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2007/03/guttenberg-chronicles.html" style="font-style: italic;">The Chicken Chronicles</a>, but unlike those films which feature Steve in major roles, this one is pretty light on the Guttenberg action. <br />
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I was actually getting pretty worried about this film, as I was about an hour and 20 minutes into it and still hadn't spotted our buddy Steve. Could I have possibly missed him? It seems impossible, for one as highly attuned to the presence of Guttenberg as I. But then he appeared like a breath of fresh amusement park air, admirably delivering his one line. "Sorry sir, I had to get the key." Like poetry, it was.<br />
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Well, not really. He's not even in the credits, but he is absolutely in the film. He's on screen for about 20 seconds, and has one line. He also has fabulously fluffy 70s hair, which I found delightful. <br />
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The film's a thriller, starring George Segal (who I really only know from <i>Just Shoot Me</i>) as a safety inspector who gets drawn into the web of a bomber who is targeting amusement parks. It's actually a reasonably good thriller - probably not the type of film you'd go out of your way to see, but if it was on TV on a Sunday afternoon when you were lying hungover on the couch, aimlessly flipping through the channels, you'd easily stop and watch it. There's also the added bonus of a 14 year old Helen Hunt playing Segal's daughter. Who doesn't love seeing celebs when they were kids? <br />
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It also feels kind of like a historical document. In the future, it could be used in a history class called "What The 70s Were Like". People use payphones! They drive without wearing seatbelts! They win cartons of cigarettes at amusement park games! They wear comically large ties! They use something called "hot combs" on their hair! They drive super boxy, huge cars! They have relaxed conversations with their ex-wives about being sure to lock the door when her boyfriend stays over! They wear inappropriate suits when staking out amusement parks! They have to track people down at airports and hotels because they don't have mobile phones! They smoke all the time! <br />
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It was a fun trip to the 70s, and I did enjoy it. There was one thing that did puzzle me, though. There are a few scenes with people on roller coasters who do this sort of synchronised clapping as they go up the first incline on the ride. Did people really do that? Do they still do that? Have I been missing out on an essential part of rollercoaster fun by not clapping up a storm?<br />
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Anyway, this is an enjoyable film. And it's really made me want to buy some cotton candy. Man, that stuff is good.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Title:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Rollercoaster</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">17</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Purchased:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">By my aweseome friend Mandy for my birthday. Like 3 years ago. Really, I am getting on watching these, I swear. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Cost:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">N/A</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Seeing a practically teenaged Guttenberg with huge 70s hair:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Priceless</span>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-83846950299741429312010-12-26T22:02:00.001+00:002010-12-26T22:02:51.182+00:00Major Movie Guttenberg<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's been three years since I've watched a Guttenberg film, so I'm a little out of the loop.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Maybe it's the distance, maybe it's the holidays, I don't know. But I actually enjoyed this movie. And no, I am not proud of that. And yes, I am aware that this movie stars Jessica Simpson.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpSzMr_QsUgZK5D0CkfwRlUVQiRDjiCHkKXMEUuO9NfQhb28Euq2BLJgAKO28Hdegp9Mg36PeV12KA6lnftDROw1UCzp6Y7IqJ-DfaBhRa4C-DLwaer_Jd5tTF56WIgCzLar-r/s1600/Major+Movie+Star.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpSzMr_QsUgZK5D0CkfwRlUVQiRDjiCHkKXMEUuO9NfQhb28Euq2BLJgAKO28Hdegp9Mg36PeV12KA6lnftDROw1UCzp6Y7IqJ-DfaBhRa4C-DLwaer_Jd5tTF56WIgCzLar-r/s320/Major+Movie+Star.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034320/">Major Movie Star</a></i>! This is a remake of the classic 1980 film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081375/" style="font-style: italic;">Private Benjamin</a>, and yes I am aware that I just said I actually liked a Jessica Simpson remake of an actual good film. But, this actually is a fun movie. Think what you will about J. Simp (as I like to call her), but she's a charming actress. She's not <i>good</i>, mind you. But she's charming. And in a film co-starring Steve Guttenberg, charming will get you an awfully long way. This film was never released in cinemas, but got a DVD release in the UK and the US. In the US, it's called <i>Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous</i>. You can see why I choose to ignore that wannabe <i>Legally Blonde</i> title, and go for the UK title.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Simpson plays Megan Valentine, a movie star who joins the army after she attends the première of her bad film, finds out her staff hates her, discovers her uncle's been embezzling from her, and finds out her boyfriend is sleeping with her manager. Don't get me wrong, that's a bad day, but joining the army is a bit of a stretch.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Our buddy Steve plays her agent, and is in a grand total of 5 scenes. He does get to be third billed though, after Simpson and Vivica A. Fox, who plays the sassy drill sergeant. So, that nice for him.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Steve is a colour of tan that has never been seen in the natural world. He's like a dark, burnished, shiny walnut. It's quite stunning, in its way. He's the typical smarmy agent, with a heart of gold. Unlike all the other people in poor Megan's life, he actually has her best interests at heart. Sure, she wants to make serious films, and he pushes her towards talking animal films. But he's met her, and realises her capabilities. If anything, I think that speaks to his professionalism. He's just protecting her career. But perhaps that's me reading a little more into his character than you actually see on the screen.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The absolute best thing about this film is the supporting cast, though. I literally said "OMG, it's that guy" like a dozen times. There's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0012962/">Lane from <i>Gilmore Girls</i></a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0386871/">that guy from <i>Best In Show</i></a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0428382/">that girl from <i>Girlfriends</i></a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005402/">that guy from <i>Scrubs</i></a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0344196/">that guy who was Will's client on <i>Will & Grace</i></a>, and the always awesome <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0652783/">Cheri Oteri</a>. Seriously, a non-stop parade of supporting cast fun. And it has some very good throwaway comedy lines, which I actually laughed at. I think my favourite was from the drill sergeant when she arrives at the army base, and offers him a valium, so he can calm down: <span class="Apple-style-span"><i>“I don’t do drugs! My body is a temple! Did you think that bus was going to a Phish concert?” </i> Hee. A Phish concert. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Anyway, if it's not obvious from the description so far, the army changes her and makes her a better person, she fires all the awful person, puts herself back together, blah, blah, blah. This is not really a film where "plot" is the most important element. Still, though. Enjoyable. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Maybe it's the Christmas spirit. Maybe it's a three year break from the Guttenberg films. But I really did enjoy this movie. It's got nothing on the original (which, seriously, is a really good film, and you should watch it right away), but it's not awful. And "not awful" is saying an awful lot for a Jessica Simpson/Steve Guttenberg straight to DVD film.</span><br />
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</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Title:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;">Major Movie Star</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;">18</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Purchased:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;">Ebay</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Cost:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;">£7.95</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"><strong>Admiring the burnished glow of a super-tanned Guttenberg:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;">Priceless</span></span>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-17366450074758765672010-12-26T20:46:00.000+00:002010-12-26T20:46:30.783+00:00Awesome readers<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So, yeah, it's been 3 years since I've actually added a film to this list. Which seems crazy, does it not? Sorry about that.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But, I am not a quitter! (Please note: this is a lie. I quit stuff all the time.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">More importantly, I am not going to be a quitter with this. I promised you, people of the internet, that I would watch all of Steve Guttenberg's damn films, and I will do that. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Now, when I started this, I neglected to think about the fact that, as a working actor, Steve-o continues to add to his body of work. Which means, that unless Steve retires, I will be watching Steve Guttenberg movies for the rest of my life.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Such is the price of true serious journalism, though. (Not that I'm a journalist, by any standards. But you get what I mean.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So, since the Guttenberg film list was last updated in 2007, I've made a few additions to the <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/steve-guttenberg-filmography.html">official list</a>. It's up to date as of today. And it has 45 films on it now. The G<span style="font-size: 12pt;">ü</span>tt has been busy in the last three years.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But we will get through this, people. Together. Seriously, I love that people actually read this blog, and that, even though I haven't properly updated in 3 years, I get amazing comments and emails. (Jen from CA, I am totally looking at you. Your comment was awesome and totally made my month, and I wish you'd left an email so I could thank you properly!)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But enough of that sappiness! Back to the Guttenberg!</span><br />
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</span>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-79765014466262930122008-02-19T17:33:00.003+00:002008-02-19T17:38:57.480+00:00SO AWESOME!People, I have some <strong><em>excellent</em></strong> news.<br /><br />I know you were all saying "Why oh why is my television screen not constantly filled with Steve Guttenberg? And WHEN will I see him DANCE?!?"<br /><br />Sooner than you think, my friends. <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7252372.stm">Sooner than you think</a>. <br /><br />Steve Guttenberg. Appearing as a contestant on <em>Dancing with the Stars</em>. Competing against Monica Seles, Marlee Matlin, Penn Jillette and Priscilla Presley. How awesome is this??<br /><br />Fantastic reader <a href="http://oohdontgetmestarted.blogspot.com/">Bookish Barbara</a> let me know about this little gem, and I am super excited. I may have to resort to downloading to keep up on the Guttenberg dance action.<br /><br />The only sad side is that I won't be able to vote. Can I bribe one of you to do my Guttenberg voting for me?<br /><br />It starts March 17. Set your Tivos people. We don't want to miss one single second.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-83051596744552776742007-10-09T10:30:00.001+01:002007-10-09T10:36:36.898+01:00Oh. My. God.You guys, I have the best news ever.<br /><br />Guess who's just signed a deal to write the memoir of his early years in Hollywood?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/10/01/2007-10-01_guttenberg_knows_the_ropes.html">Steve Freaking Guttenberg</a>.<br /><br />I'm so delighted by this news, I can hardly tell you! Imagine - we'll get all the first hand gossip from the <em>Police Academy</em> movies and <em>Three Men and A Baby</em> and <em>Cocoon</em>! <br /><br />Maybe the guy who makes funny noises is really a jerk! Or Ted Danson has a secret hidden past that can only now be revealed -he's really a woman! Or the guy who makes funny noises is a secret chain smoker and the noises are really a smokers cough! Or Wilfred Brimley hates oatmeal! Or something else awesome about the guy who makes funny noises!<br /><br />I'm so excited. There doesn't seem to be any info about when we can expect this book, which will surely be the greatest book of our time, but I'll keep you posted.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-72212931201695815062007-03-19T14:47:00.000+00:002007-03-19T15:14:32.476+00:00The Guttenberg ChroniclesAbout time I actually added to the mission, isn't it? <br /><br />I've actually had this video since November, but didn't get around to actually watching it until last night. You know how it is - you get busy and before you know it five months are gone.<br /><br />Anyway, this is a VERY exciting entry, because, while it is not the feature film debut of our good buddy Steve, it is his very first starring role.<br /><br />I give you the 1977 film <em><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0075836/">The Chicken Chronicles</a></em>!<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliceh/426769560/"><img height="240" alt="Chicken Chronicles" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/165/426769560_bd5e630796_m.jpg" width="180" /></a></p>I'm not going to lie to you. If you're a fan of <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/08/steve-1-nazis-0.html">dramatic</a> <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/secret-affair-violent-crime-brutal.html">Guttenberg</a>, or <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/08/steve-dog-dolphin-love-one-good-time.html">slightly</a> <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/12/two-twins-scientologist-and-gutt.html">irresponsible</a> <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/09/casper-tastic.html">dad</a> <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/film-1.html">Guttenberg</a>, this is not the movie for you. Prepare yourselves, people. This is a high school sex comedy.<br /><br />Set in 1969, Steve plays high school senior David Kessler, who has one mission for his senior year - to lose his virginity to girlfriend Margaret. Naturally, madcap antics occur as he tries to find a safe place for them to do some shoppin' at the do-it centre, because Margaret is a prude and won't have sex anywhere they could possibly be caught.<br /><br />When he's not trying to have the sex, he's working at a chicken place, which I want to say is called Chicken On The Go. <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0799014/">Phil Silvers</a> plays his boss, an upsettingly pervy old man. Did I need to hear Phil Silvers talk graphically about hot young chicks? No. No, I did not.<br /><br />Anyway, when he's not trying to have sex or sell chicken, he's pulling pranks on the school's vice principal, talking to his emotionally distant parents over his house's intercom system, bribing his little brother for sex advice, calling out racism and old fashioned rules on the track team and smoking a lot of pot. <br /><br />It's a bit of a jumbled movie. It's not what you might call funny, but I've seen much much worse movies from the teen genre.<br /><br />Oh, and don't worry. He does lose his virginity, to (spoiler!) poor Tracy Vogel, who wasn't really a slut, despite the rumours about her. And thankfully, we are spared the actual sex scene and just cut to cuddling after.<br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> The Guttenberg Chronicles<br /><br /><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 11<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> On eBay<br /><br /><strong>Cost:</strong> $5.95<br /><br /><strong>Beginning spared a Guttenberg sex scene:</strong> PricelessAlicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-6424284196748086182007-03-15T14:20:00.001+00:002007-03-15T14:23:46.706+00:00UpdateDue to the <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2007/03/it-should-be-called-imdb-of-lies.html">IMDB of LIES!</a> and the prolific working habits of our buddy Steve, the official Steve Guttenberg Project list has been <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/steve-guttenberg-filmography.html">updated</a>. <br /><br />Gone is <em>Winter Break</em>, and the 2006 films <em>Mojave Phone Booth</em> and <em>Making Change</em> have been added. <br /><br />This does mean that the "Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected" on each entry is now wrong. I may or may not be changing these. We'll see how it goes.<br /><br />You're smart though. I'm sure you can figure it out.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-40681177512905856602007-03-15T13:52:00.000+00:002007-03-15T14:13:47.759+00:00It should be called the IMDB of LIES!What's that? It's been four months since I last posted anything here?<br /><br />Well, there is a VERY good reason for that. I have been trying to get over the shock, horror, dismay and betrayal I feel at the horrible lies I have been told by someone I trusted. Someone who I've relied on in the past. Someone whose information forms the very basis for the Steve Guttenberg Project.<br /><br />The <a href="http://www.imdb.com/">IMDB</a>. Or, as I know like to call it, the IMDB of LIES!<br /><br />As you're no doubt aware, as a frequent visitor of this page, Steve's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000430/">IMDB page</a> lists many, many films. One of which is the 2003 film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261992/"><em>Winter Break</em></a>, as incriminatingly displayed here.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000430/"><img height="145" alt="winter break 3" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/151/422046829_2108169195.jpg" width="482" /></a></div><br /><br />And, yes, it does say "unconfirmed". But since that piece of information has been there since July 2005, when this madness began, I <em>thought</em> I could trust it.<br /><br />I thought wrong. "Ted Harper", indeed.<br /><br />Anyway, so, here it is:<br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliceh/422046712/"><img height="240" alt="Winter Break 1" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/184/422046712_780d60aafe_m.jpg" width="180" /></a></p><br />The only film you will see on this blog which does not feature, in any capacity, the talents of Mr. Steve Guttenberg.<br /><br />Since I watched it - all of it, mind you - I may as well tell you about it though.<br /><br />It's the story of Matt, played by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0893257/">Milo Ventimiglia</a>, who you're probably most familiar with as Peter Petrelli on <em>Heroes</em>. Unless you watched <em>Gilmore Girls</em>, in which case you're probably shaking your fist at the sky, shouting "<em>Curse that Jess! He was so bad for Rory!</em>"<br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliceh/422046782/"><img height="180" alt="Winter Break 2" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/128/422046782_d14dfe8ece_m.jpg" width="240" /></a></p>In this film, he doesn't play a vaguely slacker nurse/superhero or a vaguely slacker small town bad boy. He plays a vaguely slacker college graduate who, instead of taking a job in Detroit (I think), moves to Colorado to work with his two slacker friends for a year at a ski resort.<br /><br />This is not a good movie.<br /><br />You might be tempted because of your residual <em>Heroes</em>/<em>Gilmore Girls</em> love, but I will tell you right now. Don't waste your time.<br /><br />It's not <em>bad</em>. But ... it's just not good. It's a kind of indifferent movie. I've already forgotten most of it, and I just watched it.<br /><br />And it doesn't have Steve Guttenberg in it.<br /><br />Damn lying IMDB. Wasting my time and hard earned money. <a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliceh/422046829/"></a>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-83357432836490705042006-11-19T16:42:00.000+00:002006-11-21T14:28:53.784+00:00Tower of GuttenbergSo, as you know, tv movies are not included in the official list of Guttenberg Project films. But, for <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/05/bonus-time.html">special Santa-related films</a> and special requests, I am ready to make an exception.<br /><br />I recieved this email from the always awesome <a href="http://betteoddw.blogspot.com/">Bette</a>:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>I've just read the entirety of the Steve Guttenberg project and cannot believe there is no mention of the Tower of Terror.<br /><br />Perhaps it is just one of the remaining 11 films for you to collect but please I am breathlessly awaiting your comments on this film.</blockquote><p></p><p>There were also some comments about a film about the true love between <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/08/steve-dog-dolphin-love-one-good-time.html">a dog and a dolphin</a>, which I am unable to repeat because you would not believe me and also I would be killed.<br /><br />So, by special request - the fabulous 1997 TV movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0131620/"><em>Tower of Terror</em></a>.<br /><br /><br /></p><p><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/7338/1738/320/223943/DSC00040.jpg" border="0" /><br />And yes, you're not going crazy or seeing things. That does read Steve Guttenberg and Kirsten Dunst.<br /></p><p><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/7338/1738/320/368626/DSC00041.jpg" border="0" /><br />Post-<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113497/">Jumanji</a></em> and pre-<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159097/">The Virgin Suicides</a></em>, Kirsten made the wise decision to star with our good buddy Steve in a TV movie based on a ride at Disney World. Clearly.<br /><br />I've actually seen this movie many times. Okay, maybe not "many". But definitely more than once.<br /><br />Steve plays "Buzzy" (and no, I am not making that up), a tabloid reporter who makes up stories involving ghosts and whatnot for his paper. He's the wacky uncle of Anna (played by Kirsten) , who helps him out with his stories. A seemingly innocent old lady invites to investigate the mysterious Hollywood Hotel (I think that's what it's called - I can't actually remember) which has been closed since the 30's, after a group of people mysteriously disappeared in the elevator, including the famous Shirley Temple-alike Sally Shine.</p><p>Because you know how often valuable LA real estate just sits empty for sixty years.</p><p>Despite the fact that Buzzy is supposed to be a <em>journalist</em>, he does absolutely no research whatsoever, and just seems to believe that no one will ever lie to him. Despite the fact that almost everyone in the film lies to him.</p><p>"What? You say that the evil nanny was actually a witch and hated Sally, and was therefore responsible for the mysterious elevator disappearance? And you were there, so that's how you know? Well, okay! I'll just take your word for it! No, no, I don't need to know why you were there, or anything about you. I'll just go off an investigate now. La la la la."</p><p>That takes a bit away from the big climactic scene where it's revealed that (SHOCK!) the seemingly innocent old lady is actually (HORROR!) the sister of Sally Shine, and the one responsible for the mysterious disappearance because (SHOCK!!) she was jealous that her sister got all the attention. And the big twist? They were taking the elevator up to sister's surprise birthday party, but never made it. See? Seemingly innocent old lady as a child wasn't really ignored at all!</p><p>Of course, the "journalist" doesn't figure out the mystery. But never fear! Buzzy still gets his job back at the real newspaper and smooches with the editor lady, played by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001604/">Nia Peeples</a>. (Nia Peeples! Seriously!)</p><p>I'm probably taking this film too seriously - after all, it was specifically created to provide backstory to a DisneyWorld <a href="http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/wdw/parks/attractionDetail?id=TheTwilightZoneTowerofTerrorAttractionPage">ride</a>. </p><p>I guess I should just be glad it has a plot of any kind.</p><p>And seeing Kirsten Dunst slum it is always amusing.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-34305198380274229252006-09-14T09:54:00.000+01:002006-09-14T09:58:45.083+01:00Guttenberg-tastic!Due to the <a href="http://aliceworld.blogspot.com/2006/08/burgled.html">upsetting burglary</a>, and the subsequent lack of laptop at home, I have not been as good with the updating of the project as I would like. But never fear! <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/09/casper-tastic.html">Friend of the project</a> Sarah has pointed me in the direction of something fabulous and Guttenberg related.<br /><br />My friends, I give you <em>The Mother Of All Trailers</em>!<br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/w8JPEq0Qp4Q" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"></embed></p><br /><br />God bless <a href="http://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a>, I say. God bless them.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1155496862444720822006-08-13T20:16:00.000+01:002006-08-13T20:48:38.883+01:00Steve + Dog + Dolphin + Love = One Good TimeI've had this film for quite a while, but for some reason couldn't bring myself to watch it. Why is that, you ask? <br /><br />Because it's about a dog and a dolphin that are in love.<br /><br />Seriously.<br /><br />It's 1997's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120550/">Zeus and Roxanne</a></em>.<br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/213928004/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/97/213928004_0762266d52_m.jpg" /></a></p><br />Steve plays Terry, a single father Terry Barnett and owner of Zeus, troublemaking and dolphin-loving dog.<br /><br />In his family films, Steve's very good at being an either bad or neglectful single dad. In this one, he's more neglectful. He's an earring wearing musician who lets his 9 year old son take care of him. This kid prepares all the meals, does all the cleaning, takes care of the dolphin-loving dog. This is the slave child that every parent hopes for.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000599/">Kathleen Quinlan</a> plays Mary-Beth, the romantic interest and next door neighbour. Clearly, after her award winning role as Tom Hank's wife in <em>Apollo 13</em>, playing the love interest in a Steve Guttenberg family film was the next logical step. She's also the matchmaker for Zeus, the dog, and Roxanne, the dolphin. She realizes that they can communicate with each other and tries to get some research grant about interspecies comunication.<br /><br />Seriously.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004868/">Majandra Delfino</a> plays one of Mary-Beth's kids and it drove me crazy for about half the movie trying to figure out how I knew her. Then it finally hit me that she was Maria on <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0201391/">Roswell</a></em>. And no, I will not be embarassed for watching Roswell. You cannot shame me with your judging!<br /><br />She has possibly the best line of a movie: "If a dolphin and a dog can get along, why can't our mom and his dad?"<br /><br />Yes. Why can't we all just get along?<br /><br />Anyway, I would say that if you are a fan of kids, dogs and/or dolphins then this might just be the movie for you.<br /><br />And if you are a fan of late nineties shirtless Guttenberg, this is <em>definitely</em> the movie for you. Shirtless, an earring AND a motorcycle. He's the bad-boy single dad you've always dreamed of, isn't he?<br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> Zeus and Roxanne<br /><br /><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 11<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay<br /><br /><strong>Price:</strong> £2.98<br /><br /><strong>Learning That Inter-species True Love Is Possible?:</strong> Priceless.<br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/213928004/"></a> </p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1155472933293511342006-08-13T13:37:00.000+01:002006-08-13T14:14:48.380+01:00Steve: 1, Nazis: 0Steve Guttenberg is that rare actor - the one who knows his range, and pretty much stays within it. He's a light comedy kind of guy. <br /><br />Want someone to be a befuddled bachelor taking care of a baby? <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/film-1.html">Done</a>. Want a guy to fall in love with the ghost of Daryl Hannah with wacky results? <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/list-celebrities-this-must-be-mistake.html">Done</a>. Want someone to play the most beloved police cadet of all time? <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/cadet-carey-mahoney-reporting-for-duty.html">Done</a>, <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-swear-to-god-i-thought-id-already.html">done</a>, <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/it-would-have-been-such-good-birthday.html">done</a> and <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/09/citizens-on-patrol-on-streets-of-my.html">done</a>. Want someone to play a dedicated young Nazi hunter? What<br /><br />That's right. It's 1978's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077269/">Boys From Brazil</a></em>, costarring <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000060/">Gregory Peck</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000059/">Sir Laurence Olivier</a>. <br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/213927874/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/89/213927874_dd8232043f_m.jpg" /></a></p>Oh yes. You read that right. Two Oscar winners, Nazi scientists, Nazi hunters and South America. And Steve Guttenberg. Or, as he's named in the credits "Steven Guttenberg". Clearly a drama this serious and important has no room for Steves.<br /><br />It's the story of a Jewish Nazi hunter, Ezra Lieberman(Olivier), living in South America who spends most of his time tracking down rogue Nazis. Steve is an enthusiastic youngster who is an amateur Nazi hunter, and is tracking down Dr. Josef Mengele (Peck) who is up to various dastardly deeds. Lieberman tries to discourage Steve from his Nazi hunting, but does Steve listen? <br /><br />Of course not! He's Steve Guttenberg! He's enthusiastic and dedicated! And, of course, he gets killed for his trouble. About 25 minutes into the movie.<br /><br />But don't let that stop you from watching this - despite it's rampant Guttenberg killing, this is not a bad movie.<br /><br />Mengele is trying to create a new Hitler, from 95 Hitler clones growing up around the world. The Hitler 2's are about 12 or 13 years old and Mengele is killing off their fathers because Hitler's dad died when he was that age. Lieberman finds out about the plot thanks to the good work of dead Steve Guttenberg, and tries to stop it. He and Mengele have a dramatic fight in the house of one of the Hitler 2's and Lieberman makes the dramatic decision not to have the Hitler clones killed. A LOT of time is spent explaining cloning, which was clearly necessary in 1978 but is a bit "Cloning? We get it. Shut up already." in 2006.<br /><br />Anyway, for the only real drama in the Guttenberg filmography, it's good stuff. <br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> The Boys From Brazil<br /><br /><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 12<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay<br /><br /><strong>Price:</strong> £5.50<br /><br /><strong>Seeing Steve killed by Nazis?:</strong> Priceless.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1155200241592165302006-08-10T09:52:00.000+01:002006-08-10T13:36:51.690+01:00Guttenberg Returns To My HeartI received a comment this morning, from longtime <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/lead.html">project</a> <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/10/three-men-hilarity_31.html">supporter</a> <a href="http://thegeneralpublic.blogspot.com/">Abby</a>.<br /><br /><blockquote><p>Hello? Helloooooo? Anybody there? Could you hurry up and finish this list please, I would like to be able to go into a charity shop and not head straight for the video section on the hunt for a Gutt film. It's exhausting.<br /><br />That is all. </p></blockquote><br /><p>And people, she's so right. I have let you all down, when you've been nothing but supportive (if slightly confused) of the project.<a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/177207703/"></a></p><p>As I haven't posted since May (MAY! What is UP with <em>that</em>??) I will now present to you a treat I know you've all been holding your collective breath in gleeful anticipation of:</p><p>It's 1988's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094890/"><em>Cocoon: The Return</em></a>! </p><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/177207703/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/53/177207703_0248c429be_m.jpg" /></a></p><p>I was lucky enough to be joined by project <a href="http://aliceworld.blogspot.com/2005/07/gtt.html">instigator</a> <a href="http://londoncanuck.blogspot.com/">Heather</a> and flatmate Buffy as we watched Steve reprise the role of the charming Captain Jack Bonner. (That's right. He was <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383574/">Captain Jack</a> <em>long</em> before any of this pirate nonsense.)</p><p>Apparently, I was wrong in my belief that all human beings who ever lived are <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/05/its-captain-guttenberg.html">familiar with the plot</a> of these movies. For those of you who have not been delighted by the madcap Cocoon antics, it's pretty straighforward.</p><p>The oldies miss Earth and their families and friends, so they come back for a visit. Grandchildren have grown! Things have changed! Daughters are still ignored! Hussies try to corrupt good men! Friendship is important!</p><p>They all learn Important Lessons about being human, and most of them decide to stay on Earth, except the ones that got themselves knocked up.</p><p>The most amusing part of the film is the appearance of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001073/">Courteney Cox</a> as dedicated scientist Sara, who finds one of the cocoons, cracks it open and bonds with the alien inside until the mean old government comes along and ruins the fun for everyone. This was during her stint on <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001073/"><em>Family Ties</em></a> as Alex's girlfriend Lauren, which was certainly when I first became aware of her. Who'd have thought that it wasn't a co-starring role with the estimable Mr. Guttenberg that would propel her to stardom, but some <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108778/">sitcom</a>?</p><p>Although Steve reconnects with his alien girlfriend from the first film, an upsetting dinner where she glows and levitates and is generally inappropriate shows him that there's no real long term future. Will he find love with scientist Sara? Oh, I think we all know the answer to that question.</p><p>Sadly, the VHS copy of this fine film purchased on eBay was slightly less than perfect. And by "slightly less", I mean that for the last hour of the film, the picture was all wavy and not nice and made a sound that Heather can imitate very well, but which I sadly cannot duplicate in writing. </p><p>But people, I am nothing if not dedicated to the project, so I will have you know that I <em>watched it anyway</em>. And I forced Buffy and Heather to watch it with me. I am that devoted to Steve, and to you.</p><p>So, although I didn't technically see the end of this movie, I've seen it before so we can cross yet another branch off the Guttenberg tree. (I really don't know where that analogy came from.)</p><p><strong>Title:</strong> Cocoon: The Return</p><p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 13</p><p><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay </p><p><strong>Price:</strong> £5.45</p><p><strong>Realizing that I will watch essentially unviewable copies of tapes just because of the project?:</strong> Priceless.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1148212812594590952006-05-21T12:57:00.001+01:002006-05-21T13:40:03.686+01:00Bonus Time!As you all know, the rules of the mission state that only feature film releases are included in the mission.<br /><br />(Actually, to be fair, that seems to be a rule that I have that I've never put in writing. But you'll see that the <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/steve-guttenberg-filmography.html">official list of films</a> only includes theatrical releases, not TV movies.)<br /><br />Anyway, I was doing my standard Guttenberg browse on eBay, and I came across this little beauty. How could I resist? It's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413900/">Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus</a></em>!<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/150304715/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/51/150304715_baa2023f49_m.jpg" /></a></p><br />Now, it's not a theatrical release. It's a 2004 TV movie, that my have aired on the Hallmark channel, but I'm not sure about that. But anway, it doesn't count towards the mission. But I still had to buy it.<br /><br />Steve plays Nick, the son of Santa, who is required to take over from his dad after Christmas. And, of course, he needs a wife. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004751/">Crystal Bernard</a>, who I loved on <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098948/">Wings</a></em>, plays the woman that he falls for and decides to marry. Can he win her over before Christmas? Oh the suspense!!<br /><br />It's a cute holiday TV movie. That pretty much sums it up. <br /><br />It does have its flaws. If I were Beth, Crystal's character, and I was the single mother of an eight year old, I would probably be a little wary of the single middle aged man who spends so much time with kids. But I am clearly more suspicious than she is. And Guttenberg's choice to laugh with a "ho ho ho" instead of a normal laugh is cute at first but got a teensy bit grating.<br /><br />But for every minus, there's a plus, the biggest of which being the awesome Thomas Calabro, who played the even more awesome Dr. Michael Mancini on the awesome <em><u><span style="color:#800080;">Melrose Place</span></u></em>. (And yes, that sentence was totally worthy of three awesomes.) He's just awesome. There's nothing more to say. He plays Beth's boss and is truly delightful.<br /><br />This may set a dangerous TV movie purchasing trend, but I love the Christmas movie and I love the Guttenberg.<br /><br />What's a girl to do?<br /><br />Awesome.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1146928116595910522006-05-06T16:06:00.002+01:002006-05-21T13:24:42.530+01:00It's Captain Guttenberg!Now, this is another one of those films that seems so obvious that I was sure I'd already added it to the mission. But, <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-swear-to-god-i-thought-id-already.html">again</a>, I was wrong.<br /><br />Of course, I'd already seen this film. Who hasn't? I think it may be required by law. But I hadn't truly appreciated Steve's excellent contribution to the film.<br /><br />He truly does shine in this, his only Ron Howard film, 1985's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088933/"><em>Cocoon</em></a>.<br /><br /><p></p><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/76362285/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/38/76362285_d47a8707af_m.jpg" /></a></p><br />The distributor of the DVD clearly realize that the appeal to the average consumer isn't in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000979/">Wilford Brimley</a>, or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001788/">Jessica Tandy</a>. No, DVD buyers are here for one reason and one reason only.<br /><br />Steve Guttenberg.<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/76362287/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/37/76362287_1dc85cec89_m.jpg" /></a></p>Since I'm sure we all know the plot (old people made young by alien cocoons in a swimming pool, Guttenberg is the captain of the boat that aliens use to rescue their cocooned friends), I insead give you my random thoughts from watching the movie.<br /><br /><ul><li>Dude. Wilford Brimley just said "ball sack". Like I needed to hear that?</li><li>27 is Steve's character's favourite number? <a href="http://aliceworld.blogspot.com/2005/11/100-things-about-me.html">27 is MY favourite number</a>! This is spooky.</li><li>Where the hell is that kid from? (He's Bastian from the <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088323/">Neverending Story</a></em>! I had to look that up.)</li><li>My two favourite alien guys are the ones that barely speak. They're just there and slightly surly. Awesome.</li><li>Shirtless Guttenberg!</li><li>Is it wrong that I'm kind of liking the shirtless Guttenberg?</li><li>They are awfully reckless with the cocoons. You think they'd be slightly suspicious of them.</li><li>Ew, the elderly are getting frisky.</li><li>They're dancing! I wish I knew how to properly dance.</li><li>"She's not normal" - I don't know what that means, but I wrote it down so it must be relevant.</li><li>Awesome reason for swimming with the cocoons - "it's not bad for America, I guess"</li><li>Dude. Wilford Brimley's wife is really loyal. She's all "if my husband says he saw people from outer space, then they were from outer space, get the police dammit!"</li><li>Odd. I really remember the kid being in this more.</li><li>And they say goodbye to their grandson but not their <em>daughter</em>. Man, she must have issues.</li><li>Aw, bye Bernie! </li></ul><p>Apparently, this movie made $100 million worldwide. And this was the 80's, so that actually meant something. Is it Steve's biggest hit? Well, according to the IMDB, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094137/business">no</a>, but it's still pretty big.</p><p>And it's pretty good. Steve's very funny and charming. And although I could have done without the alien pool sex scene, I have no complaints at all about his performance. Well played Guttenberg. Well played.</p><p><strong>Title:</strong> Cocoon</p><p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 14</p><p><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay (and I think someone gave me a copy too, but I forget who. Maybe Alexcia? Thanks dude!)</p><p><strong>Price:</strong> £3.50</p><p><strong>Never being able to erase the disturbing alien pool sex scene from my mind?:</strong> Priceless.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1146511033483971432006-05-01T20:17:00.000+01:002006-05-01T21:04:31.823+01:00I swear to God, I thought I'd already done this one...So, I'm sitting here on a Monday evening on a bank holiday weekend, and having just updated the mission for the first time in absolutely ages, I was just checking out the blog to make sure that all the links were up to date and what have you.<br /><br />And what do I find? Well, in the lovely list indicating which films have been completed, I see <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/cadet-carey-mahoney-reporting-for-duty.html"><em>Police Academy</em></a><em>, </em><a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/it-would-have-been-such-good-birthday.html"><em>Police Academy 3</em></a> and <em><a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/09/citizens-on-patrol-on-streets-of-my.html">Police Academy 4</a></em>. But what's this? No <em>Police Academy 2</em>? Well, that can't be right. I swear to you, I really honestly thought I'd done this one. I've seen the movie - and recently too, I'd thought. Yeah, I was wrong, wrong, wrong. <br /><br />Not that I'd seen it, because I swear I have. But it hasn't been added to the project, which raised a bit of a moral dilemma. Because I've seen it before, do I <em>really</em> need to watch it again? I really wrestled with this one, I tell you. Ultimately, I felt that I really did have to watch it again, because I really couldn't remember anything specific about the film. Other than Cadet Carey Mahoney being a super cool beach cop. But that wasn't enough.<br /><br />Do you <em>see</em> what I go through for you people? <br /><br />And now, for the second time in recent memory, the 1985 sequel to the classic original, <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089822/">Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment</a></em>. <br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/138495793/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/49/138495793_b838a9e67a_m.jpg" /></a></p>And of course, it's starring once again as your favourite cop and mine Carey Mahoney, one Mister Steve Guttenberg.<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/138495881/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/46/138495881_a391b29252_m.jpg" /></a></p>All our old favourites are back - Tackleberry, Hightower, the short girl one, the guy who makes noises, that guy who looks vaguely familiar but I can't really place. Good times, I tell you.<br /><br />And man, the sight of Steve riding his beach bike thing wearing a sleeveless shirt and shorts with<em> knee socks</em> is one sexy image that's going to keep you up at night.<br /><br />And this movie is PG-13, so that means boobs. Could you <em>be</em> more excited? <br /><br />The title really says it all - it's their first assignment. The rookies are paired with other cops to counter the threat of a gang lead by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001281/">Bobcat Goldwaith</a> in his second ever film. Thanks a <em>lot</em>, <em>Police Academy</em>. Did they really need to inflict the world with him?<br /><br />I did find it charming that although Steve is clearly the leading man here, they give Tackleberry the romantic subplot. He's charmed by his tough yet hot motorcycle partner.<br /><br />It's a <em>Police Academy</em> movie. If you've seen one, you've seen them all. Wacky hi-jinks, inept criminals and inept cops eventually saving the day.<br /><br />This one doesn't have a hot air balloon race, though. So means it can't be the best <em>Police Academy </em>movie ever, though it's certainly better than the third one.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment<br /><br /><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 15<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay<br /><br /><strong>Price:</strong> £2.50<br /><br /><strong>Being slightly better than Police Academy 3?:</strong> Priceless.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1146509751376663762006-05-01T19:55:00.000+01:002006-05-01T19:55:51.383+01:00Steve's Soccer Film, Take 2As we all know, after the glory days of the <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/film-1.html"><em>Three Men & A Baby</em></a><em>/</em><a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/cadet-carey-mahoney-reporting-for-duty.html"><em>Police Academy</em></a><em>/Coccoon</em> days, our good friend Steve Guttenberg made a bit of a career switch into the children's film.<br /><br />(By the way, that pattern is closely mirrored in the films of one Mr. John Travolta - from <em>Saturday Night Fever</em> to <em>Look Who's Talking.</em> Do we see a suprising and yet fabulous career resurgance in an edgy yet hugely popular film on Steve's horizon? Perhaps.)<br /><br />But I digress. This is the second <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/10/go-team-go.html">Steve Guttenberg soccer film</a> in the project, suggesting a secret love of the game. Once again, we see unruly and rebellious children being tamed by a caring foreign accented teacher, soccer and Steve Guttenberg. Seriously, these movies are <em>really</em> similar.<br /><br />But this one's not Canadian, and therefore must be better. I give you 1995's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112499/">The Big Green</a></em>.<br /><br /><p></p><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/114163114/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/39/114163114_ad5463f0a5_m.jpg" /></a></p>We clearly realize we're looking at a quality film, because we have only one name above the title - Steve Guttenberg. Classic.<br /><br />And this is clearly an ideal childrens' film, because not only is there a shot of a kid being hit in the crotch with a soccer ball, but it promises to be the "wildest, wackiest football team ever!" Well, I don't know about you, but I'm excited!<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/114165819/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/46/114165819_6f6f78c5e7_m.jpg" /></a></p>Steve plays the sheriff in a small Texan town who, with the help of British teacher <a href="http://www.imdb.com/ad/e2b405d2b095bee073ce02ac15330fcd?dest=http%3A//www.imdb.com/name/nm0001882/">Olivia d'Abo</a> gives the kids in his tiny town a reason to be proud of themselves, blah, blah, blah.<br /><br />Actually, it wasn't too bad. It opened with an animated goat sequence, so you know you can't go wrong. And Steve's accent wasn't too bad at all. I think this may be the first film where he's used an accent, other than the hideous New Zealeand accent in <em><a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/08/will-she-still-love-lobo-when-she.html">Don't Tell Her It's Me</a></em>, which we're never thinking of again, thanks very much. Anyway, this one's not too bad.<br /><br />This is actually a pretty cute film. The kids are actually good - cute but not in a movie-puke-cute way, but in a real kid way. There's a bit of pre-teen romance which is adorable, an illegal immigrant B-plot which is a bit unexpected, and of course Steve's accent. You just can't go wrong.<br /><br />And people, there's an animated goat. Excellent!<br /><br /><p><strong>Title:</strong> The Big Green</p><p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 16</p><p><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay</p><p><strong>Price:</strong> £0.01 + delivery</p><p><strong>Hearing Steve Guttenberg's Texan accent:</strong> Priceless.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1146129389446824172006-04-27T10:10:00.000+01:002006-04-27T10:16:30.616+01:00My dreams are shaming me...So, I had this dream last night.<br /><br />I was in LA, and walking to the Beverley Center (<em>note: I have never been to the Beverley Center. It probably does not contain a Target, as it did in my dream</em>.), you know because everyone walks in LA. Anyway, I go into one of the stores that opens to the outside and it's a music store, not unlike HMV, except not. <br /><br />Anyway, I'm browsing through the bargain DVD section, and I come across a Steve Guttenberg movie that I'd been searching for for ages and ages. It's an obscure Sci-Fi movie starring Steve and Sandra Bullock. The cover is all blue and it's a shot of the two of them looking really sternly at the camera. I don't remember what it was called.<br /><br />There were actually two versions of it, one with cast commentary for $10.99 and one without for $4.96. I was all torn - is the cast commentary really worth it?<br /><br />I can't remember what happened after that, but obviously my subconscious is trying to shame me into updating the Project by inventing Steve Guttenberg movies and having me find them in gleeful bargain hunting sprees in Los Angeles. <br /><br />Fine, subconscious. You win. <em>This time.</em>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1140949715670523342006-02-26T10:28:00.000+00:002006-02-26T10:54:06.850+00:00Guttenberg For The Holidays<p>This is actually a Guttenberg film that I'd seen before without realizing that Steve Guttenberg played a key role. Can you believe it? Oh, the sad days before I started being hyper-aware of his presence. I'm much happier that I'm in a constant state of Guttenberg awareness now.</p><p>Anyway. It's the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000149/">Jodie Foster</a> Thanksgiving film, 1995's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113321/">Home For The Holidays</a></em>! </p><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/104571645/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/43/104571645_ffd40a83ee_m.jpg" /></a></p><p>Now, Steve Guttenberg's not really the <em>star</em> here. In fact, he doesn't make his first appearance until 40 minutes into the film. He plays the super-tense husband of the always funny <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0828906/">Cynthia Stevenson</a>, who plays the sister of star <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000456/">Holly Hunter</a>.</p><p>Guttenberg's Walter (standard name of every super-tense husband in every film ever) doesn't have much to do, other than be annoyed by his brother-in-law <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000375/">Robert Downey Jr</a>. </p><p>I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't much like this movie, mainly because I found the characters of Claudia (Holly Hunter's character) and Tommy (Robert Downey Jr.) so freaking annoying that I couldn't stand to watch them. </p><p>You're not supposed to sympathise with the hyper sister and her tense husband, but I did, because if I had to be realated to two such selfish and mean idiots, I'd probably act just the same way. I mean, they throw a turkey on her! Wouldn't you be upset if that happened? </p><p>Guttenberg's good, as always, but I probably wouldn't watch this again.</p><p>I do have to raise a complaint on behalf of the Gütt. In the family photo on the cover of the DVD, every single cast member present at the family Thanksgiving is there, <em>except</em> Steve Guttenberg. Outrageous I say! Even his kids are there, and they barely have speaking lines! If I were his agent, I would be writing a strongly worded letter of complaint. Strongly worded, I say!</p><p><strong>Title:</strong> Home For The Holidays</p><p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 17<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> on Amazon.co.uk<br /><br /><strong>Price:</strong> £5.25<br /><br /><strong>Hearing Guttenberg say "Beep beep, brother-in-law" to Robert Downey Jr:</strong> Priceless.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1140793383556542562006-02-24T15:02:00.000+00:002006-02-24T15:11:40.423+00:00Can't Stop The Guttenberg!Seriously, how can you really describe this movie? <br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/76362282/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/42/76362282_1304e9f4ef_m.jpg" /></a></p><br />It's 1980's <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080492/">Can't Stop The Music</a></em>! Doesn't it look fab? But what can we expect from watching it? Well, let's see what the box promises. Can it deliver?<br /><br /><p align="center"><a title="photo sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59971852@N00/76362284/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 2px solid" alt="" src="http://static.flickr.com/39/76362284_da137f790a_m.jpg" /></a></p><br />Oh, it can deliver indeed. And "<em>camp-tacular</em>" - that's the best I can come up with.<br /><p></p>The plot isn't important, really. It's about Steve Guttenberg, as a songwriter and DJ. Who forms the freaking Village People with the help of his platonic roommate, former model Sam.<br /><br />He forms the Village People, people. He creates them. He writes their songs. He is the mastermind behind the campest disco ever, and that's saying a lot.<br /><br />The opening scene is the Gutt's character, Jack Morell (not the similarity to the real Village People creator Jacques Morali) quitting his job in a record shop and rollerskating through New York City.<br /><br />He <em>rollerskates through New York City</em>! On rollerskates!! This may top the "Miss Piggy borrows skates from Gregory Hines and chases down her mugger in Central Park" scene from the <em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087755/">Muppets Take Manhattan</a></em> as the best rollerskating scene set in New York.<br /><br />I can't think that there was ever a time when this was conceived as a straight movie in any way. It is the campest thing I have ever seen. And I've seen some camp movies in my time, I'll tell you that.<br /><br />Of course, it's not a good movie. The plot is sketchy at best. They get their big break in a milk ad? <em>What?</em> There's a whole subplot involving Steve Guttenberg's mom? <em>What?</em> All these people are flying to San Francisco to help them out? <em>What?</em> The construction worker has a solo dance number with lots of hot chicks, implying that he is straight? <em><strong>What??</strong></em><br /><br />But the plot's not important here. It's campy and fun and chock full o' Village People songs. <br />It's quite telling that of all the actors that appeared in the film (and I'm including Olympic athlete <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0421063/">Bruce Jenner</a> in that category, although it does imply he can act, which he cannot), our man Steve Guttenberg is pretty much the only one who managed to salvage his career. Nice one, Steve. Shake it off, and move on to better things.<br /><br />I'd recommend this for the roller skating scene alone. Trust me, it's worth it.<br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> Can't Stop The Music<br /><br /><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 18<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay<br /><br /><strong>Price:</strong> £10.00, and worth every penny.<br /><br /><strong>Steve as the star of the campest movie ever, of all time, ever:</strong> Priceless.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1138629316942231292006-01-30T13:50:00.000+00:002006-01-30T13:56:46.180+00:00Steve Guttenberg FactsHelpful reader Ryan emailed me with a super fabulous resource for those of us that love us some Steve Guttenberg.<br /><br />The <a href="http://www.cleanapple.com/steve/">Steve Guttenberg Facts</a>, while <em>possibly</em> lacking in authenticity, are still utterly delightful.<br /><br />Following the hugely popular <a href="http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty">Chuck Norris Facts</a> model, you'll learn some surprising things about our good buddy Steve.<br /><br />I like this one for its Norris tie-in:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>Once, while on a walk, Steve Guttenberg ran into Chuck Norris. He waved and said hello, but Chuck Norris ignored him. Guttenberg pondered this encounter the entire way home and ended up writing poetry for the rest of the day.<br /></blockquote><p> </p><p>Good times, I tell you. He may be less tough than Chuck Norris, but he's no less loveable.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1135286682898506562005-12-22T20:53:00.000+00:002005-12-22T21:36:50.246+00:00Two Twins, a Scientologist and The GuttNow, unless you've been living under a very large and heavy rock since 1987, you may be aware of the phenomenon of the Olsen Twins. (Funny story, when I was a kid I thought there were three of them - Mary, Kate and Ashley Olsen.) <p>These two crazy kids have been making movies since Full House ended in 1995. I have had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing several of these movies. I'm not proud, mind you. I'm just saying.<br />However, I seem to have missed the "classic" 1995 film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113442/"><em>It Takes Two</em></a> starring one Mister Steve Guttenberg along with Kirstie Alley, in what was in a string of bad post-<em>Cheers</em> films. </p><p align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/It%20Takes%20Two%20-%201.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 1px solid; MARGIN: 2px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/400/It%20Takes%20Two%20-%201.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/It%20Takes%20Two%20-%203.jpg"></a></p><p align="left">Clearly, we are a the height of Alley fame here, as she trumps our man in the credits game.</p><p align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/It%20Takes%20Two%20-%203.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 1px solid; MARGIN: 2px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/400/It%20Takes%20Two%20-%203.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p>It's basically a poor man's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055277/">Parent Trap</a>. It's even a poor man's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120783/">Parent Trap remake</a>. In terms of acting ability, the Olsens definitely rank behind both Hayley Mills and Lindsay Lohan. And they only have to play one twin each. Slackers.</p><p>They don't seem to be actual twins though - they're identical strangers! You know how often that happens. I think I saw it on the news yesterday.</p><p>Anyway, Steve-o plays the dad of the rich twin, Alyssa. Kirstie is the case worker of the poor twin, Amanda. She wants to adopt her, but the man gets in the way because he doesn't want kids adopted by poor, single moms. Steve has fallen in love with a rich lady, Clarice (Carol from <em>Friends</em> in a BAD wig), who, you'll never guess, is eeeeeeeeevil. By a completely wacky coincidence, Amanda ends up at a summer camp across from Alyssa's house.</p><p>If you can't guess the plot from here, then I am so, so sad for you. You need to stop having a real life and sit down on your couch and watch a LOT more bad tv.</p><p>There's not really more to say about this movie. It's an Olsen Twins movie. Of course it's bad. But Steve's not too bad, consider he's in a freakin' Olsen Twins movie. And isn't that what matters?<br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> It Takes Two</p><p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 19</p><p><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay</p><p><strong>Price:</strong> £2.50</p><p><strong>Knowing that Steve was right in there at the start of the Olsen empire:</strong> Priceless.</p><p><em>**Edited to add - I've just found out I know the woman who did extras casting on this movie. I'm one degree from the Gutt!</em></p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1130794936569526692005-10-31T21:44:00.000+00:002005-10-31T21:48:04.103+00:00A Question of GuttenbergThis one is a little bit special.<br /><br />It's the first Guttenberg film. A full ten years before he would dazzle us in Three Men & A Baby, a young Steve Guttenberg proudly donned the mantle of "professional actor" as he took on the challenging and special role of Mike Cappelletti in the classic film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076738/"><em>A Question of Life</em> </a>(aka <em>Something for Joey</em>). Do you think it was a coincidence that this momentous occasion occurred in the year in which I was born? Me neither.<br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/A%20Question%20Of%20Life%20-%201.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 1px solid; MARGIN: 2px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/400/A%20Question%20Of%20Life%20-%201.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><br />Steve isn't the star here. He plays the brother of the two main characters, and has very little screen time. But when he's there, is he supportive of young Joey? Oh, I think you know he is.<br /><br />It's a bit of a long film, but this is the plot (from the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076738/plotsummary">imdb.com</a>)<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>This is based on the true story about the relationship between Penn State football player John Cappelletti and his younger brother Joey, who has leukemia. John and Joey's bond is a strong one. Joey hangs out with John in the Penn State locker room, and inspires him to be the top college football player in the country. Their bond knows no boundaries and goes beyond making touchdowns and winning awards.</blockquote><br />It's very touching. Joey and John are close. Joey inspires John to win the coveted <a href="http://www.heisman.com/winners/j-cappelletti73.html">Heisman trophy</a>. Joey dies.<br /><br />It's very sad. Yet, very inspirational. And fabulously seventies. Oddly enough, though, Joey and his mother look nothing like this:<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/A%20Question%20of%20Life%20-%202.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 1px solid; MARGIN: 2px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/400/A%20Question%20of%20Life%20-%202.jpg" border="0" /></a></p>I'm not sure why the artist chose to depict two people who do not appear in the film. It's a bit of a mystery.<br /><br />A classic Guttenberg film. A momentous Guttenberg moment. Pure Guttenberg gold.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> A Question of Life (aka Something For Joey)<br /><br /><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 20<br /><br /><strong>Purchased:</strong> on eBay<br /><br /><strong>Price:</strong> £5.79<br /><br /><strong>Seeing the genesis of the Guttenberg Film Dynasty:</strong> Priceless.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1130793893945927692005-10-31T21:24:00.000+00:002005-10-31T21:26:33.716+00:00Three Men & Hilarity<p>Of all the films featured in the Steve Guttenberg Project, this is the film that has had the most devoted searcher. </p><p>You may remember that way back in July, a mere week or so after the mission started, Abby had a <a href="http://steveguttenbergproject.blogspot.com/2005/07/lead.html">possible lead</a> on the classic film <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098966/">Three Men & A Little Lady</a>. Sadly, it turned out she was thinking of a copy of Sister Act recorded off the television that her mother had thrown out. </p><p>I appreciated her attempt, but figured that this was one that I’d have to track down for myself. Imagine my delight when I received this email: </p><blockquote><p>Hello Alice, </p><p>Remember when I led you on by telling you that I could get you a copy of Three<br />Men and a Little Lady? And it turned out to be a cruel lie? </p><p>Well, I was so upset at having to let you down that I have been trawling the<br />charity shops of Beckenham High Street ever since, and on Saturday I got my<br />reward! </p><p>Yes, I have found you a copy of 3MAALL! Hooray!! </p><p>So, if you would be so kind as to send me your address, I'll pop Mr G and his crazy pals in the post to you! </p><p>He he! </p><p>Abby </p></blockquote><p>How amazing is that? I sent her my address and before you knew it, I had my hands on this little beauty. </p><p align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/Three%20Men%20&%20A%20Little%20Lady%20-%201.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 1px solid; MARGIN: 2px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/400/Three%20Men%20%26%20A%20Little%20Lady%20-%201.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /></p><p>I firmly believe that Steve Guttenberg is at his most likeable as comic writer and one-of-three dads Michael. </p><p>He has a bit of the unfortunate role in this movie of being neither Mary’s biological father (Ted Danson) or her mother’s love interest (Tom Selleck). He’s more the fun dad who brings you presents and plays with you, but who you really wouldn’t rely on for anything serious. </p><p>I especially appreciated this film because I live in England now, and of course, the dramatic climax of the movie involves Tom Selleck’s Peter flying to England to stop the marriage of Mary’s mother to some director guy. </p><p>We then get a nice lesson in “American stereotypes of the British”. Unpleasant director man lives in a huge English manor, he’s incredibly posh, they won’t let Mary do things like play inside, they’re going to send her to boarding school, blah, blah, blah. </p><p>There are some “hilarious” moments in involving Peter and Michael driving a mini through a road full of sheep. </p><p>But the plot’s not really the point here, is it? </p><p>We’re looking at our good buddy Steve and his delightful antics. I have two words for you – bedtime rap. </p><p align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/640/Three%20Men%20&%20A%20Little%20Lady%20-%202.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #000000 1px solid; MARGIN: 2px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/272/1496/400/Three%20Men%20%26%20A%20Little%20Lady%20-%202.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p></p><p>How can you not love ANY movie that contains Ted Danson wearing an alarm clock around his neck as the three of them painfully “rap”? </p><p><strong>Title: </strong>Three Men & A Little Lady</p><p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected: </strong>21 </p><p><strong>Purchased:</strong> By the lovely and fabulous Abby </p><p><strong>Trying to erase the bedtime rap from my mind: </strong>Priceless. </p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14245034.post-1128861503868327782005-10-09T13:35:00.000+01:002005-10-09T13:38:23.876+01:00Guttenberg on the Moon!<em>Amazon Women on the Moon</em> is a bit of an odd fish in the world of the Guttenberg film.<br /><br /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1435/181/320/Amazon%20Women%20On%20The%20Moon.jpg" border="0" /><br />It doesn’t star Steve, or really anyone for that matter. It’s more like a series of sketches (some very funny, some just strange and some painfully unfunny) one of which stars our good buddy Steve Guttenberg.<br /><br />Let’s concentrate on his sketch, called "<em>Two I.D.'s</em>", since that’s why we’re here. He plays a young man who arrives to pick up <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000275/">Rosanna Arquette</a> for a blind date. To his (and our!) hilarious surprise, she demands a credit card and some ID before the date, and does a relationship check. And what does she find? Why, he’s a bit of a player and has a saucy reputation of using the same lines to get the ladies in the sack.<br /><br />I mock, but it’s actually quite funny.<br /><br />The rest of the movie is a bit hit and miss, but such is the nature of such an odd film.<br /><br />This movie was released at the height of Guttenberg fame – just post Police Academy and pre Three Men & A Baby.<br /><br />I’d probably watch it again, but skip through the not funny bits.<br /><br />Huh. I have surprisingly little to say about this movie. Odd.<br /><br /><strong>Title:</strong> Amazon Women on the Moon <p><strong>Steve Guttenberg Films Still To Be Collected:</strong> 22</p><p><strong>Purchased:</strong> On ebay</p><p><strong>Price:</strong> £2.85</p><p><strong>Hearing Steve Guttenberg use a line about sushi to seduce the ladies:</strong> Priceless.</p>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09349066685963927931noreply@blogger.com0